Home for the Holidays: a Santa Barbara Christmas

Last year was my first Christmas without the kids. My then 13-, 16-, and 19-year-olds were traipsing around Canada with their dad and his fiancée. I was in California with my parents at my brother and sister-in-law’s house where I pseudo-wrote a “home for the holidays” Christmas movie based in Santa Barbara.

I started joking about getting an ankle sprain in Trader Joe’s and because I can take any idea entirely too far, it turned into an elaborate story. After gracefully tripping on nothing and hitting the ground, a man stops to help me. He gently unzips my leather boot to find a whimsical knee sock hiding a twisted-but-not-serious ankle injury. I am an unlikely main character: a tousled bun of mangled sentences, mismatched prints, and makeup-free non sequiturs. Socks pulled up and boots zipped, I stand up, thank him for his help, and go about my business. My business involves drinking wine, goofily dancing, and wrestling inner demons.

The following day, ankle sore and sporting a slight limp, I accidentally release the wrong latch in a massive fence as I’m leaving my airbnb. A herd of alpacas come streaming out before I can manage the unwieldy gate. Because of course they do.

The chaotic stampede streams down to the mission, interrupting the church service and live nativity. Hilarity is actively ensuing as ankle guy from TJs shows up. He is bewildered and furious. We soon learn that he’s an orthopedic surgeon who fights hospital burnout at his alpaca farm winery. Because of course he is and of course he does.

We go on to have a series of encounters at beautiful spots in Santa Barbara as we collect stray alpacas and deal with Amelia Bedelia levels of nonsense. There is a trolley tour of lights before we finally end up at the elaborately decorated Zoo — with animals, worlds, and hearts all righted. We twirl and laugh under the jellyfish lights. It is magical.

End scene.

There was way more to the plot but I’ve forgotten it. It was a group effort where family members were just riffing on new plot twists over multiple days. I think the main impetus for the movie was touring so many key landmarks and the whole town feels so idyllically unreal – the perfect backdrop for a romance.

I’ll head out for Christmas in 2025 to get photos of all the spots for my imaginary meet-cute film. Maybe I’ll wear some boots to Trader Joes and tempt the fates.